Guardian of the Heart, 2021
I couldn’t stop staring at the photograph in National Geographic: two refugees—a mother and her teenage daughter—locked in a seated embrace. Their faces held weariness and melancholy, but the way their arms so perfectly encircled each other emanated tenderness, belonging, and protection. I was preparing to begin my third painting of 2021, and this image stirred me so deeply that I felt called to try and bring its essence onto the canvas.
In my first studio session, I laid out the mother and daughter under a dark, moonlit sky, with trees on either side and a palette of cool-toned blues and pinks. The next day when I reviewed what I had done, the painting felt flat and too literal; only the girl, the moon, and one warm patch of yellow drew me in. Thanks to the opaque quality of acrylics, I can paint over areas that aren’t working. Following my intuition, I soon transformed the mother into a white wolf, who even in her earliest stages, held such a strong sense of sheltering that I knew she would remain.
As I described in my last blog post, I was spending hours each week at that time offering support and companionship to my son’s pregnant partner, who was two months shy of her due date, recently diagnosed with preeclampsia, and reeling from her doctor’s orders to quit her job and limit nearly all activity, which she worried would weaken her for the rigors of childbirth. During our afternoons together, she shared stories of past challenges, both physical and emotional, helping me understand the lingering effects of trauma, and reminding me the importance of being a listening sanctuary, to focus on being peaceful in my heart so that it could resonate with hers.
Of course, I needed that solace, too, so I turned to my painting-in-progress, and slowly found my way into the arms of protection. Night became soft dusk; the dark, cold background transformed into rich purple mountains; and the shadowed trees shape-shifted into glowing saguaro cactuses, standing like sentinels in the golden light. With each studio session, the palette grew warmer, and each layer felt like another sheath of reassurance. More than any other image I created this year, this one brought the deepest emotion, a cascade of relief as I handed over my worries to the canvas.
My artistic practice has taught me that an image, a talisman, and especially color and light can truly help a person feel a comforting or empowering shift. Initially that person is me and I often turn to imagery when I am lost or troubled by a situation. When creating a scene, I listen to the painting, allowing it to evolve and guide me into the feelings that I may not have words for, but which are safely expressed—and lifted—into the beauty of the colors and forms that manifest on the canvas.
When I leave the aura of my studio, I hope to carry that same gesture of presence and listening to others. Being a defender of the heart is a mission I hold sacred. When at a loss for how to be near someone in emotional need, I do well to be like the wolf in the painting, who offers unconditional acceptance. “I am here with you at this moment as your witness, comforter, and champion.“
May you be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
May your heart be gentle and serene.
May your body be healthy and strong.
May you take care of yourself with grace and ease.
-The Buddhist Metta prayer
Kathrin J Seitz
Maureen,
What a beautiful message. And how fortunate your daughter-in-law is to have you. I love the Buddhist Metta Prayer. I know several versions of it, one more beautiful than the next. I used to close my class with it. Maybe you remember that…
And maybe I’ll do it again!
Sending love,
Kathrin
Maureen
Thanks for this. I am reminded of a quote by Maya Angelo:
“We are living art, created to help others to hang on, stand up, forbear, continue.”
Yes to the Meta prayer and teaching more classes!
Audrey
Beautiful!
MAUREEN E EGAN
Thank you for reading, Audrey! Be well, Maureen
Jen Wieland
I love who you are as a wondrous white wolf, decades of knowing you while living life side by side; distance and time adding a unique dimension to everyday life near and far. Your artistry is profoundly beautiful, as are you, soul to soul!! 💗
Maureen
I am grateful for your soul-filled words, Jen. We’ve seen a lot of life by now and have gained some wisdom along the way. Be well, Maureen
Paula Norbert
I love your reflections on the artistic process and capturing the essence, the colors, the feeling of the moment. I was comforted in the fullness of what you created and felt protected and embraced. The Meta prayer is perfect for these days. I am sure I will share it at church soon. I am haunted by the sorrows of so many families on the border… I hope you are enjoying these precious moments with your granddaughter. Miss you…love and peace
Maureen
Thank you for your reflections, Paula. I had such a visceral, other worldly experience while working on this painting, imagining the power that such a protective presence (the nurturing and capable mother wolf) could bring to someone struggling to make it across a border. The Meta prayer resurfaces time and again as just the words needed to remind me that protection is just a prayer away.
Much love to you,
Maureen
Elphie Owen
Mo- I am endlessly interested in your process, as you know. The fact that you seem to have such an interchange with the painting as you work seems so novel and original to me. Maybe many painters do that, but I am not sure every painter takes it to the personal emotional dialogue that you do. My favorite part is this: ”
“Night became soft dusk; the dark, cold background transformed into rich purple mountains; and the shadowed trees shape-shifted into glowing saguaro cactuses, standing like sentinels in the golden light. With each studio session, the palette grew warmer, and each layer felt like another sheath of reassurance….I handed my worries over to the canvas.” XOXOX
Maureen
When I painted more realistically for a couple of years, I learned new techniques, but missed the intuitive, interactive process I had utilized previously. That process, accompanied by writing, is what makes my artistic endeavors feel most genuine, and where I feel fully engaged and able to be of service.
Thanks so much for your insights, comments, support. They are always welcome!
xxoo, Momo
Laura Bonazzoli
Like Elphie, I loved your words about handing your worries to the canvas. How fortunate that we have the arts, which can hold our worries, our questions, our hope. But this passage resonated most with me: “I do well to be like the wolf in the painting, who offers unconditional acceptance. ‘I am here with you at this moment as your witness, comforter, and champion.’“ For many years I have recognized that the most precious gift we can give someone in distress is simply to be their witness. Thanks for this beautiful post.
Maureen
Thank you Laura. We are lucky to have learned the importance of being a quiet, sheltering presence to those who are hurting. I don’t always remember, but when I do, I’m always glad I did.
Be well,
Maureen
George Ann
Loved reading this Maureen…and love you.❤️
Maureen
Thanks for letting me know. I love you, too. xxoo
Maggie
The inner work becomes outer , the outer work becomes the inner , it seems as you are describing your process Maureen.
I like the description of how color and light can effect our feelings and like you said, lift us !
Maureen
Yes, Maggie, the things that catch our attention have the capacity to guide toward healing. Thanks for reading and responding! xxoo
Nan OConnor
You are a true defender of the heart, my beloved friend.❤️
Maureen
Thanks, Nan, and I’m not alone in that endeavor. You are one of the greatest defenders I know.
xxoo
Barbara Spalding
My favorite part too, “Being a defender of the heart is a mission I hold sacred. When at a loss for how to be near someone in emotional need, I do well to be like the wolf in the painting, who offers unconditional acceptance. “I am here with you at this moment as your witness, comforter, and champion.“
Such a powerful image and message of the healing power of presence. Thank you for the reminder, to be quiet and still and listen, and for all of your loving and attention. Thank you also for sharing your work with us, both inner and on your canvas. 💚
Maureen Egan
Thank you for these kind words, Barbara. I will add that sometimes we have to do this for ourselves, too.